A Bottle of Cab and a Dateless Fri Night

So I'm (20 something) sitting here with the 40 something sharing a bottle of wine and scoping out the prospects on match.com. Since she found the surfer for me she wanted to see who else she could virtually hook me up with.  In reality I think she just likes looking at my potential suitors over her own (and I don't blame her.)  I logged into her account and figured if she found a date for me I can do the same for her.  WOW. I legitimately had to go to page 13 of the search results before I even wanted to click on a profile!! yikes.  Pretty slim pickings for the 40 something, I don't blame her for not having any dates recently and getting frustrated with the winks and emails she recieves.  I did however find a handome man who 1. loves to drink wine and visit Napa Valley 2. ends his weekend with dessert and 3. reads Deepak Chopra.  I gave him a wink and let's see what happens!!!!

xoxo 20 something

ps...hey 30 something what happened with your Karma? Did you go out with cancellation man...we need UPDATES!!!

Maybe he's just not that into me...

The surfer texted me last weekend and Wednesday marked our fourth date, cowabunga dude! He picked me up at my house around 8 with wet locks and a sunkissed face, hot! We headed down Ventura blvd candidly catching up with one another and sarcastically joking back and forth.  We grabbed a drink at the bar while we waited for our table at CPK.  At one point he put his arm around me and I got to feel his abs, yes absss. We had a great dinner with great conversation and ended up catching the 9:30 screening of Shutter Island.  During the movie we sat in our chairs, with no sort of touchy- feely action other than once in awhile glancing at the other acknowledging something going on in the movie. After the movie we were both tired, but continued out witty banter on the ride home.  He offered me gum and popped some in his mouth too.  In my head I was wondering if he was preparing for our goodnight kiss. As we approached my house I anxiously awaited the fourth date goodbye...dun dun dunnnn.... he got out of the car, opened my door...and.....we...... hugged. What up with that? I just don't know what to think about this.  I mean I'm totally cool with taking things slow, but it's not like our lips haven't locked in the past. I'm not sure what to think of this, I mean does he like me? I'm not going to over analyze this situation and turn into a crazy girl, but it would be nice to know what he's thinking. Maybe I need to be the aggressive one in this situation.

Or maybe he's just not that into me....hmmm sad face

xoxo, 20 something

Does bad dating Karma exist?

To reschedule with one should I cancel with someone else?  Would this give me bad dating karma?  I do believe what goes around comes around....but am I missing an opportunity?

So bright and early this morning I get a text message - it can't be a guy it's too early, they only text late at night right?  Well it is Bill (aka: cancellation guy) and he wants to meet up tonight at our previously arranged spot.  Doesn't it figure that this was the one night I have a date - my back up date to his cancellation to be exact.  I tell him this is the only night I am unavailable this week and ask if we can reschedule.  No can do as he has plans to visit his family over the weekend and guess what? I work nights next week and then go to Florida - our schedules are not blending well.  He did write "We'll make it happen soon". Maybe....

My first thought when I got his message was to cancel with tonight's date. I am more interested in cancellation guy and the other one hasn't even gotten a nickname yet....but I am afraid of bad karma. I could probably reschedule for tomorrow and have back to back dates and get a first hand look at both...but I am afraid of bad karma.

F@#% Karma
xoxo, the 30-something

Putting All The Eggs In One Basket

I think I may have put all my eggs in one basket.  It's been a week since my last date with the surfer and I haven't heard anything from him! wtf? I also haven't booked anymore dates this week. I don't know what my problem is.  I think that my last date may have scared me from pursuing anymore match dates.  But I suppose since match just recharged me for another month, causing my bank account to go negative I need to get back in the game and at least score a good meal and some drinks. I mean, I obviously can't afford to take myself out this week! Okay so I'm putting those positive vibes back into the universe and see if this time I can score myself a sexy man!

xoxo 20 something

Cancelled!!

I was so excited for my date tonight.  I have had a great weekend with old friends and was going to finish it with a Sunday evening date....or so I thought. 
Bill had been doing everything right:  he emailed me and I responded; he said he would rather meet for a drink and wasn't a fan of the multiple emails, Great!  I gave him my number and he called.  That's right folks he didn't text me he actually picked up the phone and we made a plan for the following day.  Unfortunately I was sound asleep, enjoying an afternoon nap and was completely rattled - I didn't give good phone.
Nevertheless he picked a great place and we were to talk today to firm up a time. 

When my phone rang I was ready.  I took a deep breath put a smile on my face(I know he can't see me, but I think you sound better) and was planning my outfit when I heard, "I am really sorry, but I got called in to work".  Really? Ok there may be some truth to this as he does work at hospital and not in an office, but total let down.  He now wants to talk some time later and maybe we can make a plan for next week after "we" get a chance to see how "our" schedule looks.  I know how mine looks...good thing I went ahead and made a date with someone else for Wednesday.

Too good to be true? Yep!
xoxo, the 30-something

A wink = a bad handshake in the cyber world

That is my new dating headline on my match.com profile.  I have received 40 winks and no dates!  Come on people... we are adults!  Ever shake a man's hand and it's a weak one?  Well, that is what I think of winks.  I want a CONFIDENT man who takes a CHANCE.  I don't want a wishy, washy, lazy wink... Be a MAN, make an IMPRESSION and send a simple introduction email.  Stand out from the others... I promise it will be worth it.

xoxo 40-something, another saturday night.... 

30 Something - A Retrospective of Date #1

The trials and tribulations of on-line dating.  Does it really work?  We have all heard great success stories, but I am here to share the not so successful ones...the last few dates I have been on. I hope you enjoy the stories more than I did the dates.

Date #1: aka Bryan with a Y
The 40 -something picked him out for me over that fateful Thanksgiving weekend.  I think she just really liked the picture of his dog.  In the spirit of our quest I replied to his email and back and forth it went until he suggested a time and place to meet.  It was a good start - he picked the time and place and made a decent decision.  I primped and prepped, showered and shaved, exfoliated and looked pretty damned good! (why don't we ever do this for just ourselves?)  He got there early, saved me a bar stool and texted me...I walked right by him.  Ooops, it is hard to recognize someone from a picture and slightly awkward....
The conversation was going well until he decided to show me pictures on his phone: first of his dog, a pug named Piggy (really? not very manly),  then his mom.  Yes that is right folks he showed me pics of his Mom and called her "a little peanut" - who does that? and on a 1st date?  I should have known when he ordered a blackberry beer that this was going down hill.  He proceeded to tell me all about his mother, what kind of wedding he would like to have some day, and how he waxes his back and grooms his chest hair.  (Did I mention he had no idea what football game was playing on the tv in front of us...)
Just when you think it doesn't get any worse as he as already shared too much information we talked about his last trip out to L.A. and his gay cousin.  I am totally ok with that, but when he mentioned going to the gay bars in L.A. and how gay men have no foreplay it was time to order a water and get out of dodge.
He did do a few things right: he paid the bill (I don't even try to make an attempt on a 1st date), and walked me to my car - we did the awkward hug thing and he said he would be in touch, and unfortunately he was.  He couldn't wait for date #2 and had such a great time and so on...this is when I developed The Template.

Hey _____,
 
Thanks for drinks last night, I had a really nice time. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoyed our conversation, but I don't see this going any further...  I hope you understand. 
 
Take care,
__________

Bryan with a Y was actually really nice and easy to talk with, but I am afraid this might have been my first date with a gay guy...he just hasn't realized it yet.

xoxo, the 30-something

Seriously??

Wow.
Yes, wow pretty much sums up the words to describe the events that transpired on February 14, 2010.  I was scheduled to arrive at my dates house at 6 pm. The first mistake I  may have made was meeting him at his house, and not meeting in a public setting.  ( you live and learn ladies, live and learn) I arrived about ten minutes late as per usual on a date.  I never like to arrive on time, I typically like to have the guy there already waiting for me, makes it less awkward I have found. Ok so anyways let me give you a little background on the situation.  So this date was unlike any date I've been on for two reasons. 1. He is 43. and 2. He was the CEO of the company I first worked for when I moved to Los Angeles, so this was not a "match" setup.  I walked up to his house where we did not greet with a hug a kiss or any sort of gesture.  I walked in and he proceeded to bring me to the kitchen where he told me that he does not drink, but had a few options for wine.  I assumed since he was older, and well established he might have had decent wine, maybe even a wine collection, but to my surprise he offered me two choices: Yellowtail shiraz and Barefoot merlot. Hello $5.99 bottles of wine!! Not cool.  He then proceeded to tell me that he does not drink. sweet. We then went into a side room where we proceeded to play a game of pool and converse.  I thought we were having a decent time, I mean I wasn't trying to get a tour of the house and end up in his bedroom, but I was enjoying my yellowtail and thought I was somewhat good at hitting those balls into the pockets...After our game, I walked over to take another sip of my shiraz when he sprung upon me some uneasy words.  He said that he felt awkward about the situation, referring to my age and basically asked me to leave.  Seriously?!?!?! I couldn't even believe it!!!! I got into my car and said to myself, WTF? WTF, WTF?  This was the first date that I have been the rejected one, for no apparent reason.  Whatever he was a BIG dork, who is single at 43 for a reason. You may know how to run a company dude, but you certainly don't know how to treat a lady!!! Fuck you and oh yeah Happy Valentines Day! SO glad I had my dear friend to take me to a few dive bars where we drank QUALITY beverages that cost more than the fucking valet!!!

xoxo 20 something

I Should Have Listened

to my gut. 

I should have known something sketchy was happening when this dude started texting me every single night. 

I should have known something sketchy was happening when he told me he wanted me to ride the bull at the Saddleranch.  

I should have know something sketchy was happening when he told me he got a hotel room for the night.  

I should have known something sketchy was happening when he told me he was spending the entire day at Universal Studios waiting for me to get done with work. 

I should have know something sketchy was happening when he didn't look like his picture.  

I should have known something sketchy was happening when he ordered disaronno on the rocks...

...long story short this was the first date that I've gone on that I can truly say I had a terrible time.  I legitimately didn't even want to go in the first place. I should have listened to my gut. Now I don't know if I had a bad time because I was comparing it to my time with the surfer or if we were just not a "match."  Poor guy, the best thing he has going for him at the moment is that his Dad is involved in the movie industry and he has free entrance to any AMC movie theater in the US. Seeing an opportunity here I suggested we go and see, Dear John.  BIG mistake.  He proceeded to massage my knee the entire movie and then during the last five minutes of the movie he fell asleep and began to snore, sweet life. Thank God the parking attendant let me into the VIP parking for free, because I would have hated to think that I paid a pretty penny to spend my evening with him.

oh yeah, Happy effing Valentines Day Bitches...

xoxo the 20 something

Okay... since I am opening up the "mailbox"

I thought I would share another profile from a person who is interested is the ever-so-fabulous sexy 40-something....

ACTUAL PROFILE

iam omar engineering manager from palastine working in kuwait iam separated abd looking i like reading and excrcise and playing sucour h

54-year-old man
Kuwait
seeking women 30-70
in Kuwait
Relationships: Currently Separated
Have kids: No
Want kids: Not sure
Middle Eastern
Body type: Slender
Height: 5'9" (176cms)
Religion: Muslim / Islam
Smoke: No Way
Drink: Never





hmmm.... how many things are wrong with this match?? First of all did anyone see that movie "Not Without My Daughter?" Um, 54? separated, muslim, lives in Kuwait, and the real deal-breaker is he doesn't DRINK! I think I'll pass...

40-something xoxoxo

Spell Check??

The following email arrived in my match.com mailbox today. Some of you say I am too "picky"....


my family frends my jobe

I love seening the joy a simple thoughful act can bring to others. i want someone who appreciate that and who also want to get the most out her life. I adore hanging out whit my friends and value my family very much. I sorround my self with good peopple.

this is the actual email - no editing has been involved.

frustrated 40 something xoxo

The 20 Something Needs to Quit.

So I think that I need to stop the blog. I just don't know that I can continue to do this when I think that something maybe starting to happen with the surfer. I have also had one corona two frozen margaritas, a guiness and a makeouk sesh with the surfer, so I may not be thinking clearly. We'll see what happens tomorrow, but for now I'm feeling slightly awkward about my dates that are lined up this weekend, especially the "non" date scheduled for valentines day. ew can't even really think about that right now.

xoxo tipsy 20 something

Take a Number

I am fully booked for the weekend, V-Day weekend that is. Things are still running smoothly with the surfer, but I am keeping my options open. Fortunately I haven't sent a text to the wrong candidate or mixed up a name, yet. At the rate I'm going I feel like it's bound to happen, a girl just can't have this much luck, can she?

I'm sure I'll have a lot to talk about come monday. The important thing right now is, what to wear? Friday marks my third date with the surfer, holy hell how did this happen!! (He likes me, he really really likes me!) HA HA. What is the proper protocol, I've never had a proper third date before? Hopefully we can move on from our awkward kiss, was it just me or did he think it was terribly awkward as well? Maybe this time I'll have more than two drinks in me and I can screw the formalities and muster up the courage to give him a real kiss.

That is all for now, come monday it'll be alright...

xoxo, the 20 something

Long weekend, V-Day weekend and I got nothin..

The dreaded V-Day is upon us and it is also a long weekend. While I am looking forward to having 3 days off the only thing I have in my date book is a one-one with my Mac genius at the Apple Store to learn how to use my new computer and a 12:00 pm appointment for my stinky newly adopted dog to get groomed. What happened to the days of just having fun? Happy Hours, random hooks-up's and townies? As I watch 20 something go on dates they have no expectations - if they have fun, they click... You reach 40-something and I need to ask, are we expected to act and look like the 20 something or are you looking for someone to be your equal?

xoxo, the 40 something

What Up?

The 20 something's blackberry is burning up and all I get are lousy emails from men that could be my Father. ew. What do I have in common with these men that message me? I'm desperate, but not that desperate! What does a 40 something have to do around here to get asked out by an eligible, single, suitable bachelor? I mean I can get asked out by married men, men with kids, men with no jobs, men with no hair, but for godsake, where is my man?

Help.

xoxo, the 40 something

Surfer's Up!

No pun intended, but things went pretty well with the surfer the other night. We met for sushi, and get this...we didn't have any alcohol until half way into the dinner, and you know what? I was able to have conversation, try rolls that wouldn't normally order and pull some wit from my ass. I think that this may be a first for me. I for once didn't have to self medicate myself with booze in order to get through the date. Wanna know the cutest part of the sushi date? He got there soooo early because they don't take reservations and wanted to make sure we had a place to sit around the sushi bar...awwwwwww. big points there. After dinner we went to a pool hall, where we had some margaritas and I proceeded to delight him with my quick wit. We just couldn't end the night there, so we went to a "dive" bar and threw back a couple beers. At the end of the night we had that "goodnight kiss" moment. We were in the car and it came that time, so he told me he would walk me to my car (which was right next to his and all I had to do was open his door, take one step and open mine) So we got to my car where I went in for a hug, which turned into a "peck" which was so awkward that I immediately opened my car door, which made my hair get stuck and I couldn't even look his way!! ahhhh the awkward first kiss, I dieeee!!

All in all I had a great time and we have since been texting...will there be a third date?

I hope so.

xoxo, the 20 something

Second Date=Second Base?

Tonight is my first "second date" with the same guy from match. The other night I opted for the long haired man surprise, surprise! We enjoyed two great beers and some conversation. I think it went pretty well, because he has texted me since the original date and we have talked today about plans for sushi tonight. Now he told me he doesn't like to go to a place that he doesn't feel comfortable wearing his sandals...hmmm so I wonder what kind of sushi joint he will take me to. I think that I may have oversold my self as the outdoorsy loving kinda girl. I do like to be outside--during the summer getting a tan on the beach. And I do like to go snowboarding and I once upon a time really wanted to learn how to surf, so I guess I could picture myself getting into those things again. I mean it may be a good way to start exercising! ha ha.

The other night, unlike my other dates, we didn't seal the night with a kiss. Which was totally cool, because it didn't seem right at the moment... so I'm a little anxious to see what the night brings.Second date=second base? HA HA I kid.


xoxo the 20 something

32 winks, 17 emails and 1 DATE!

I am a veteran of match.com but recently re-joined to participate in our 20*30*40 dating blog. Well, sad to say my popularity rating has not improved! Many winks from men as far as India... I exchanged emails with 2 different men this week but after 3 or 4 emails they just stop... Was it something I typed? Had one date, did not really feel a spark but would go out again if he called. However, I doubt he will. Not sure if match.com is the best avenue for 40-something to pursue love.

xoxo 40something

Get it, Girl.

Yikes. I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. I am currently carrying on text conversations with 4 different men. 3 found online, 1 found offline (which is another blog in itself) I have to say that I am feeling a bit guilty carrying on the conversations with the guys that I am for lack of better words, "leaving on the back burner." How do I tell someone that I'm just not that into you?

Tonight I have a date with someone that I believe I am more interested in and have more in common with. It seems as though my first couple dates were practice runs. Don't get me wrong each date was enjoyable and the conversation was there, there was just something that was missing.

Hopefully I can put my practice dates to good use tonight, and hopefully my other "men" won't contact me during my date. No one likes a girl that is constantly checking her blackberry!

xoxo, the 20 something

Double Booked.

Uh oh I have officially booked two guys for the same night! I don't want to have to recreate the scene from SATC when Charlotte double books. She goes out with both of them and tells the first date that she is sick, only to go back to her place with date number two to find date number one waiting with soup. eeeeek

So help me decide please. One is 35 lives nearby and is somewhat attractive. The other is 25 has long hair and is attractive. Did I mention that he has long hair? Yeah, if you know me then you know which guy I am going to have to gracefully turn down, but obviously keep him on the back burner.

This is getting tricky--I've been on three dates this week and the past two are still contacting me and wanting to go out again. Maybe I should limit myself to one date per week??

Screw it!! I only have a one month membership and need to make the most of this experience!

xoxo, the 20 something

Playing the Field

It has come to my attention that women receive far more emails and winks online than the men do. You wanna know how I know this little tid-bit of information, well every guy that I have gone out with tells me. They tell me that they get about one email a week and haven't met that "special" someone yet. I on the other hand get emails and winks daily, and am talking/dating a few different guys. When they ask me if I'm seeing another person or when the last time I went on a date, I typically lie. I'm testing the waters with a few different people, and don't really know how to properly turn anyone down. I haven't been blown away by any of the guys I've seen and have kind of come to the conclusion that they are dating online because they are somewhat dorky. I don't wanna toot my own horn over here, but I am just soooo different from many of the people that I've met up with. Don't get me wrong they have all been perfect gentlemen, but I just haven't felt the connection with anyone, which is the reason why I need to play the field. So I guess until the "one" comes along I'm going to continue to play the field, I just have to make sure I get my story right and don't call them the wrong name!!

xoxo, the 20 something

what's the deal with the coffee date?

So I have been getting a lot of requests to go on coffee dates. Yes, Coffee. I know I'm new to this whole online dating thing, but when I go on a date I typically like to get my buzz from an alcoholic beverage, not a latte. Has the economy affected the dating scene, can guys no longer take you out to dinner or drinks? I don't want to sound like an alcoholic over here, but I do find that I perform better (ie I become very witty, personable and FUN) when sipping an alcoholic concoction. I mean I went on a coffee date and it lasted about as long as it took me to finish my tall chai latte. Are these supposed to be little introductory meetings, I mean for god sake I feel like I'm on an interview! And what are you supposed to wear? Who is supposed to pay? I DON'T GET IT. So I'm about to head off on another coffee date at 5. I mean 5 that's so close to dinner and we're not meeting at a Starbucks or coffee shop. We're going to a place that I know has alcohol and serves food. And I wouldn't typically go to this place to grab a coffee per say. So do I have to order coffee? Maybe I'll see what he thinks about an Irish coffee...


xoxo, the confused 20 something